This week’s blog post comes Leialoha Hurwitz. She is one of our go to people for overnight postpartum support. See more about her at the end of the post. We are so happy to have her share her insights.
photo courtesy of Flickr
Does this sound at all familiar to you- “Oh you have to get (insert newest baby gadget here)! It’s totally made life more bearable,” or “Don’t get (same baby gadget from above)! It was totally useless.” Parents new and old will offer you their, sometimes unsolicited, advice about which baby products to invest in and which not to. The problem is that in your close group of family and friends there could be many conflicting reviews about a single product. So which products do you choose? Which ones will make life easier? Which ones are just hype? What is going to make your “Fourth Trimester” easy and stress free?
I’m not going to give you an answer to those questions. In my experience as a postpartum doula I can tell you that what works for one infant may not work for another. Ultimately, there are no magic products that make your baby sleep through the night or never cry. However, I have seen parents find products that support their parenting mission and align with their values and desired postpartum experience. So instead of giving you yet another list of things to buy, we are going to talk about 3 things
1) Support postpartum
2) Breastfeeding
3) Babywearing
Support
The first 3 months after birth, also known as the Fourth Trimester, is a time filled with lots of change for both baby and parents. Support in this time is key to physical recovery of the birthing parent, emotional adjustment and everyone becoming comfortable in their new roles. As your baby gets used to life outside the womb, you are also getting used to life with your baby, deciphering their cues and finding a new rhythm of life. Having a support system set up for the Fourth Trimester before birth will go a long way to make this time less chaotic. A postpartum doulais a great support to have in place for the whole family. While you can, of course contact usto set up postpartum support, DoulaMatch.net,NAPS Doulasand DONAare also good sources for finding the professional support of a doula. Getting connected with a parent/baby group like PEPS is another great way to get connected with other parentsin your area, and find community through your shared parenting experiences. Finally, everyone is undoubtedly going want to visit and fawn over your precious baby- make them pay a “toll.” Ask them to stop by the grocery store and pick-up items that you need, or bring a hot meal, or throw a load of laundry in when they arrive- the list of toll options is endless, and it will go a long way to helping you be more present during their visit.
Breastfeeding
Let’s talk breastfeeding now. First and foremost, I want you to remember that your baby has NEVER done this before. Sure there are aspects of it that are innate, like feeding cues, but it’s going to take time and practice for you and your baby to get into a solid nursing groove. Since it’ll take some time and unforeseen challenges may arise, good support will be key. I highly recommend finding a drop-in breastfeeding group, La Leche Leagueis a great place to start. This article has some great, easy to absorb, information on what to expect in the early weeks of feeding your newborn as well. In the Puget Sound area we are fortunate to have many Board Certified Lactation Consultants (IBCLC). Your local hospital likely has an outpatient clinic, and we have several independent lactation consultants who do home visits as well. Finally, I want you to know that there are many families that choose to formula feed or supplement with formula for a multitude of reasons. If this is you, then I want you to have people around you who support you and remind you that you are taking great care of your baby.
Babywearing
Last, but not least, we’re going to chat about babywearing. Having a sling or wrap that will hold your baby securely to your chest is a game changer. Your baby loves to be held and snugged and you love to eat with both hands or put your hair up; it’s a win-win. There are a multitude of other benefits of babywearingfrom easier breastfeedingto calmer babies. The most important thing is to find a carrier/wrap/sling that works and feels comfortable and secure for you. Like I said in the beginning, what works for one might not work for another. Second, find time before baby arrives to familiarize yourself with your chosen carrier. There are a multitude of videos on YouTube to guide you, or seek out a babywearing teacher in your area, or ask your postpartum doula to help you. I love to have clients practice using their carrier before baby arrives and we’ve used everything from a baby-doll to a small watermelon to help them get comfortable. Like everything we’ve talked about it’s going to take time for you and your baby to get used to the process, but once you do it’ll be smooth sailing.
In the end, I want you to remember to be patient with yourself and be so very kind to yourself during this major transition in your life. Lean on the people in your life for support and seek out an additional new community to fill the gaps your family and friends can’t fill. We all know the saying “It takes a village to raise a child,” and it truly does. May your village be abundant and a never-ending source of love and encouragement. Aloha!
Leialoha has always been surrounded by babies and young children, so her transition into doula work was a natural progression. She loves the unedited commentary of school aged children, as well as the sweet squeaks of newborns finding their voice. Doula work affords her the opportunity to shower families with love and support and therefore fulfill her life's purpose.